Page Title

Warren Stanley: Ships Navigator   Ouroboros Technical Lead

Mr. Stanley is a true 'Explorer Extraordinaire’, with such feets to his record as the discovery of the 'Source of Ellerbe Creak', the rediscovery of the 'Source of Ellerbe Creak' and personally proving that the above were neither the source of any creak, nor even remotely any part of Ellerbe Creak. (There had been a strong rain the previous evening.) He topped that triple phenomenon by resolutely setting out to: "once and for all sort out this Ellerbe Creak business."  Which resulted in his most important contribution to date: the discovery of the REAL Ellerbe Creak, directly adjacent to a city park that, purely coincidentally, claims the name: 'Ellerbe Creak Trail'   As Dr Filbert once noted in his journal: "We would all be lost without Warren Stanley!  Of course we are lost, but I can't prove its his fault."


Richard Eugene: Ships Maintenance Officer

Mr. Eugene is a true enigma in this age of singly wrapped cheese slices and bottled draft beer. He adheres to his principles with an intrepid doggedness that can only be characterized by the exact type of evasive depiction that entails both cross analysis and direct interrogation of those self same principles. In the line of duty Mr. Eugene is dauntless, fearless, impassioned, inspired, gregarious, insipid, bombastic, grundy and  tepid.  Usually in that order and seldom more than one at a time. He is also noted for being tireless for short periods of time, infatigable for only slightly less, generally hungry at meal times, amusing when he is funny and stinky if he skips more than a few showers.  It is safe to say that Richard Eugene, while not a 'Renaissance Man,' is consistently able to displace his own body weight in water, provided that enough is available.


Carmine DeMarco: Ships CoPilot

Mr. Carmine heads the 'Sacred Knights of the Tabby Order' and is irrepressible in his desire to be part of EVERYTHING that is going on.  There is no activity that he is not interested in and eager to help with. He will gladly drink your coffee for you and sit on the book you are reading so that you neither loose your place nor make any hasty advances to the next page. When he is done with that it time for him to help you with the computer, or maybe go out into the yard.


Grover Lonon: Special Task Force

Mr Grover is a Special Task Force consisting of a single unit, himself.  His actions and assignments are top secret, but his track record is irreproachable.  Without Grover, 'Operation Tugboat' would be at a complete standstill and the Knights of the Tabby Order would be lonely.  Grover makes almost daily sorties and continues his life long commitment to the LAPS project. (Laying Around Probably Sleeping)


Gomez DeMarco: Ships Guappo

Mr. Gomez is almost a changed man. In days of old he gravitated to the edgy, unyielding and hard surfaces. Now he can be found with reciprocal probability on the self same  surfaces of his prior fixation, or on yielding or even soft surfaces such as beds or discarded clotting. Neither deters his appetite: Mr. Gomez protects his investment at every opportunity.


Geno DeMarco: Official 'Shifty' Crew Member (Also Quite 'Doggy')

As long as you do not intrude on his truly vast personal space or inner ear potato farms, Mr. Geno is as close to a perfect gentleman as he is. Currently he is taking a extended break from his previous position as Director of the WraNT WrOW Center  For Frontal Elevation.  His next position will probably be reclining.


Howard (The Cardinal) DeMarco: Ships Security

Mr. Howard prowls with a hunger that is both vast and remarkably indiscriminate. If you have feathers, scales or fur and are smaller than Howard: BEWARE!  Intruders are often apprehended before any other members of the crew are warned of their presence. Indeed, there have been suggestions that Mr. Howard will actually apprehend potential offenders totally outside the Sprue premises and 'question' them at great lengths in his office.  These rumors have yet to be proved or disproved. Beware of the paw!


Lorelei deHussy: Official Ship's Stowaway!

One day Lorelei showed up skulking in remote and inaccessible regions of Sprue Head Quarters like a wild animal.  Several attempts have been made to sequester her movements and 'normalize' her contact preference but have met limited success. For a time there was even a motion to make her a full Intern, but skittishness, feral hunger, and 'cattyness' are qualities that can easily be found in most intern candidates.




Suka DeMarco: Expeditiary Specialist

When someone is as good at their job as Ms. Demarco, it is a crime for them to change.  Suka continues to make her mark on the world as the Sprue Expeditiary Specialist and Director of Opportunistic Procurement. Every day Suka ventures forth 3 or more times with the dual goal of Excellence in procurement and elimination.  Excellence in procurement requires diligent vigilance and a willingness to swallow. Excellence in elimination... Well anyway she is Sprue's Expeditiary Specialist.




Kathryn DeMarco: Ships Music Director & Head of OBUC (Obfuscation, Backbiting & Unproductive Comments)

Although Ms. DeMarco is noted for her mastery of such pronouns as 'he,' 'she,' they,' 'them' and 'it' - she is perhaps best know for her lightning quick intellect which so often outpaces the delivery of her statements. As she herself noted: "Its one of the things that they do- Can we- No- What I mean is- Its going to happen-" And so on. This of course makes Ms. DeMarco the ideal music director for Sprue




.Andrew Lonon: Scullery Officer (Vice President of Misplaced Items Not Larger Than A Box But Tangible)

Mr Lonon possesses the primary abilities so essential for Sprue: a keen sense of the profound, piercing insights into those key generalizations we all know so well, stunningly encompassing comprehension of the vaguer aspects of specific details, decisive determination of dramatic alliteration and, or course, he is right handed.  It is the essence of these traits (hooves and all) that has been boiled down to be the glue that holds the entire Sprue crew together. Any member of the entire organization can approach Mr. Lonon with a question and receive a clear, concise and definitive answer: Anything from "I don’t know" to 'NO!"